Psychotherapy for Infidelity - Couples Therapy - Marriage Counseling, NYC, New York

Therapy: Infidelity

"Finding a Way Back From Betrayal"

Infidelity can be a devastating experience for a couple . It can represent many emotional difficulties in the relationship that may or may not have been verbally expressed between the partners. Rage, humiliation, anxiety, hypervigilance, physical conditions and depression can result in one or both partners after the revelation of the betrayal.

The frequency, meaning and degree of emotional commitment within the experience of infidelity can vary widely from a one-night stand to serial affairs. It can be the outcome of feeling unappreciated, or having excessive demands not met, a need to connect with someone before anticipated abandonment , incompatibility in sexual needs and/or general lack of communicating longings and vulnerabilities. A general feeling of boredom and deadness in the relationship can develop over time. The context of infidelity emerges from the dynamics of each couple and, often, a pre-occupation of the expression of one partner’s needs to the detriment of the other is common.

Overwhelming stressors on the marriage like financial loss or child-rearing struggles can pull a couple apart resulting in the loss of friendship and functioning as a team in mastering new challenges. Cultural influences can come into play with feelings of entitlement and perceived permission for affairs outside of the relationship not agreed upon by each partner. Often, children can be affected as they are confronted with open conflict or frozen silence between their parents. The inability to process emotions involved with the affair can end the marriage or generate chronic hostility and lack of tenderness until “death do us part”.

Infidelity can be expressed in emotional and physical ways. Sex may or may not be involved. Romantic or deep intimate sharing within the affair can deplete the energy required for the marital relationship. On-line affairs are those connections made through chat rooms that may or may not ultimately lead to an actual sexual encounter. Many on-line relationships are replete with fantasy, however, when the partner discovers the liaison, the feelings of betrayal are equally as intense as those spurred by sexual affairs. Often, the internet is the forum for sexually compulsive behaviors hidden from the partner for years and, as a result, has to be addressed in the therapy.

The good news is that most couples who are willing to give up the infidelity and confront their emotional pain and disappointment have the potential for healing their relationship. Through exploration and learning to articulate what is hurtful as well as describing realistic emotional and sexual expectations that can fulfill mutual needs, the couple has a good chance of forming new pathways for emotional growth and tenderness.

Upset Woman in a Relationship